Greg "The Bag" Mumma Sh*ts Bed, Pants; Skulls Romp in 2nd Revenge Game

"In my 19 some-odd years of playing hockey, 'The Bag' has been involved in the 2 single strangest events I've ever seen." - Justin Panzer

The History
Last year, as the fall season was getting ready to kick into gear the Skulls had their first practice. That's when we all met "The Bag". He walked into the locker room, with a hockey bag, built to carry a minivan filled with dead bodies and plopped it down on the floor (fan included). From his first second in the door, it had begun.

Greg went on to play about three quarters of the fall/winter season with the Skulls. He wasn't a very skilled player but really separated himself from the team by not putting in any effort on the ice and then bitching about everyone else off the ice when we would get back into the locker room. His lack of desire to stand up straight and skate hard really drove the team crazy.

Most of us were concerned that he might actually have a medical condition that would limit his play, but as Assistant Captain Scott Sarama soon found out, that was the way Greg was. His inability to co-exist with any Skulls team members made the team uncomfortable and we wound up purchasing Greg's contract for the rest of the year. Leading Justin Panzer to witness the first of the two single strangest events he's ever been part of in his hockey career.

The Summer season came around and Greg become one of the Chair Members of the league and placed himself on the best team in the B2 division, Blades of Steel. They played us three times and beat the crap out of us each time. Our Skulls team had improved on our 0-20-1 record from the Winter season, but they sure didn't hold back at all as they smeared the ice with us. It sucked. Alot. Mumma and the Blades of Steel moved up to B1 following their triumph through the B2 league but in the winter he also agreed to play for the "Warriors" in our league. The Skulls saw their chance to extract revenge.

This Season
After the Skulls had divided into 3 teams for the fall season, all were poised to come out guns a-blazing. The B2 team started hot winning its first 3, and owning a 3-1 record going into our first game vs. The Warriors with "The Bag" in net. We came out strong getting multiple goals from multiple sources as it felt good to dominate our "rival opponent" if you will, by a score of 10-3. My how the mighty Mumma had fallen. We all returned to the locker and celebrated our victory that night, yearning for the next opportunity to beat the Warriors.

The Game
So last night we had the chance. Coming out of the gate the Skulls were ready to play. 6 first period goals gave us a huge lead, but we started to settle in and not skate as hard, and we let up our guard, as we let up two goals. After the first period it was 6-2 and after the second period it was 8-2 and had started to get chippy. John Perfetto scored a breakaway goal to make it 8-2 and on his way in got a wicked two handed slash to the knee from the Warrriors captain which created a delayed penalty. But it wasn't till about half way through the third period that we scored again to make it 9-2. Then the second strangest event in hockey that Justin Panzer had ever seen happened, and it was definitely the strangest I've ever seen.

After a struggle along the boards in our own zone the puck came free and shot over to John Morrisette who fired it up the boards to John Perfetto, who with one move, went around the defenseman. As he came in on goal, "The Bag" meerly got out of the way and allowed John to score. John placed the puck in the net and we all stood around befuttled. Nevertheless, they dropped the puck for the next faceoff, and the Warriors won it back, as the defenseman got the puck he passed it back to Mumma, who turned around, and after hitting his own post on the first try, he put the puck in his own net making the score 11-2 now.

The Warriors were purposely attempting to end the game early via Mercy (10-goal) Rule.

After the next puck drop, I fired it down the ice and Mumma put it in his own net to end the game; we were pissed. It wasn't till later that we found out that the Captain, asked Greg to do this, which made it even stranger. They had felt we were trying to run the score up and decided to just end the game immediately and not let the rest of the time tick off. After losing 30 out of the first 34 games as a Skull, about one fourth of them by running clock or mercy rule, they were gonna take this victory from us and cause controversy amongst their team and ours. Poor sportsmanship on the part of the Captain and the players that went along with it is the easiest way to describe it. I've never seen anything like that, would never ask that of my players, nor would I expect to see anything like that again... however... we do play the Warriors again in early January, so we'll see... for those of you still in utter disbelief you can check out the stat sheet here. For everyone else... Go Skulls!!! As we improve to a 5-1-1 record and chase after first place in our division.

Loser. Jerk. Sh*thead

I once heard this story about a girl who was dating this guy. He picked her up from her dorm one night, took her out to a movie, laughed, hugged, held hands, even kissed. Then, he dropped her off later that night and said, "hey, I dont think we should date anymore."

After his fifth season with the Philadelphia Eagles, LJ "Large Jackass" Smith wants out of Philadelphia. Honestly, the last person who has come out and said this is... I need not mention... but... Terrell Owens. I can't explain my anger right now with this guy. What kind of professional, halfway through a dogshit (him not the Eagles) season announces crap like that? Do you think leaking to the media that you're unhappy with your team mid-year as they're trying to still strive towards a playoff birth is good for your team? Do you think it'll help your craptastic stats? or maybe your ability to hold on to the ball?

He never caught more than 5 tds, he never reached 700 yards receiving. He's had two surgeries thus far this year and has only caught 11 passes and he wants to leave Philly?? By the way, that was a great fumble he had last week against Washington. He doesn't deserve to free agent shop.

As if you couldn't tell, I'm seething right now. If the Eagles wouldn't have drafted him when they did, he'd have hardly gotten the chance to play let alone make a starting position, Mr. Rutgers Alumni.

Needless to say, the story about the girl ends with the girl cursing the guy out, and slapping him in the face. The way the Eagles should now. I could care less if LJ doesn't put another foot on that field. Go recover from your torn labia.

Mc-Terrible

Birds of a Feather.... suck together.

As we reach the official "halfway" point of this Parody filled NFL Season, the magic 8 ball has become oh so clear. If you are not the Patriots or the Colts... you suck. One exception may be able to be made, for the annoying step-brother that lives in the Northwest Pennsylvania attic, but besides that, everyone sucks.

The Eagles and Ravens put up completely abysmal numbers on Sunday and Monday Night respectively, both teams giving up 38 points and almost double digit turnovers combined. The Eagles (3-5) are now 4 games out of the division lead behind the Cowboys while the Ravens (4-4) are only two out. However, they both look as if their season has been flushed down the drain.

Their inability to move the football has truly bitten them in their feathered ass. Both are offensives have struggled much more than expected and both coaches seem to be learning nothing from it. As any fan/announcer/homeless person can see, these teams need to run the football. For the Eagles it worked so effectively last year with Garcia at the helm... you need not make big plays, just casually throw and run the ball down the field effectively and the field will stretch naturally. All night on Sunday vs. the Cowboys the Eagles threw on 1st down, ran on second down for a manageable third down. The tactic, while not terrible, really limits your options on third down. The Cowboys simply stuck 6 Defensive Backs in the game and forced McNabb to find a receiver. To me, you need only to go to one source for this issue... Andy Reid.

While this blogger doesn't believe that Andy personal trials and tribulations are the issue, he does believe that his offensive methods are unoriginal and faulty. Every football fan knows the Eagles are pass happy or even pass wacky on their offensive front, but every Eagles fan knows how good Brian Westbrook is. He NEEDS to carry the ball... much more than he currently is. It keeps the defense honest, and he is very successful averaging 4+ yards a carry this year.

On Sunday, the Eagles threw 4 out of their first 5 plays out of the gate, which resulted in Fumble, Incomplete, Run for 4 yards, Complete, InComplete. 2 of the 5 were considered "successful" plays. Why keep this pattern up??

The Ravens, while not having the same issues, are also clearly lacking the ability to run during game situations where everyone and their brother can see they need to run. You need to only go back to Buffalo, 2 games ago when the Ravens had 2nd and 1 in Buffalo territory with less than 2 minutes remaining. Professor Billick called 3 straight passes, game over.

What is it about watching football that enables you to see what these coaches can't?? Maybe they both need a break. Maybe a final season should be at hand here... I know that I definitely would not be opposed to either of these decisions, but only time will tell as we watch the rest of the Patriots/Colts super bowl season unfold.